I have always observed the stories of Japanese men who marry their video game consoles or characters with a bit of a nightmarish distain. The idea itself has always given rise to feelings of sorrow for the poor sap who thinks it makes sense to feel emotional attachment towards an intimate object. There is no room for intimacy in that type of relationship. That is, until I realized I had been sitting watching the door open and close, waiting and hoping for it to open again. I longed for a glimpse of my, less technologically advanced, yet no less beautiful or intimate object of true affection. I recently realized that I feel a true passion for… Pavement. Yes, the material of our roads, and highways.

I assume it’s because I’m a runner, and the beauty of fine pavement reminds me of countless hours of joy running and sweating. The heart-wrenching part is that, while a Japanese guy can comfortably kiss and hug his video game system in the comfort of his own living room, my lover is often considered dirty by society. Any attempt to caress or kiss my lover will surely result in accusations of insanity, and maybe even calls for the police or worse to take me away. She gets spit on with betel nut, yet tirelessly (no pun intended) supports our society.

Objectophelia is the condition of being in love with an object, a thing, a non-living article. Strange? Do you feel it? Do you love your cellphone, your car, trains, planes, shoes?